Taking Care of Your Whole Self
Originally published in Women's LifeStyle, January 2005

My life issue is balance. In fact, when I first began writing for this publication over 5 years ago, my column was initially called, "And Now For Her Famous Balancing Act." I discovered that phrase on a greeting card illustrated with a women in a pink tutu delicately balancing on a tightrope. It resonated deep within me, that as a woman of the 21st century, I was constantly struggling (as we all seem to do) with how to 'do it all' and still have time for myself. How to take good care of my family, be actively involved in community, school and church, and have a meaningful career. And that's just for starters. What about the myriad of responsibilities we carry and the many colorful hats we wear in the numerous roles we play. Yikes! It can all stack up to a teetering house of cards ready to tumble with the slightest gust of wind, when there is so much to do and be.

I believe that we are creatures of body, mind and spirit. I maintain that the only way to achieve any sense of balance in life is to make sure that, day in and day out, we are taking good care of ourselves in each of these three areas. The foundation on which any life is built is a sense of wholeness - of not just addressing, but caring deeply for ourselves body, mind and spirit. And when we are whole, it goes without saying, we are happy and healthy. In my own life, it seemed balance was never attained. I would be caring for one part of myself and not another. For example, if I was getting a good amount of rest and relaxation, I wasn't exercising, thus gaining weight. Or, if I was engaged in mind-fulfilling activities, like reading or researching, I found myself on mental overload, not taking adequate time for quiet and reflection.

Somewhere along the way, I began to notice that I literally felt better when I had done something every day for each part of me. Because I was a very busy woman with three children and a career, I didn't have big blocks of time to engage in lengthy exercise, mind expansion or spiritual reflection. But I did have five minutes here and five minutes there. So that is where I began...with "Baby Steps" as I have come to call them. When I began to find shorter times daily for body, mind and spirit-based activities, I noticed that I felt much less stressed, more peaceful and, in general, complete. I found it very comforting to know that I had taken care of my whole self each day.

Where to begin? What 'Baby Steps' to take first? Begin with:

Nurturing Your Body

·'Take Five' - five minutes a day to move! Full blown exercise is great, but for slow starters like me, just moving in some creative way can seem bushels more fun and motivating. Try dance, walking, yoga, t'ai chi, or water aerobics. When my kids were little and there was no real time to go to a gym, we put on silly music and jogged around the room in circles. They loved it and I got my much needed exercise. (Though I must admit I grew a little tired of "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round.")

· Eat for Longevity - honestly assess your current eating patterns and how they impact your total health. Food, for most people is an emotional issue. Get clear about how you eat and why. I recommend, Constant Craving: What Your Food Cravings Mean and How to Overcome Them, by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. who maintains that "Your entire body, including your appetite, reflects the level of peace of mind in your life." Commit to engage in healthier eating habits, one Baby Step at a time: reduce portion size, eliminate one unhealthy food per week, introduce one new, healthier option along with it.

· Love Your Body - send messages that say, "I love you," to your body through pampering and self-care. Engage in hot tub soaks, massage, or aromatherapy. Pleasure yourself with oils and rubs. Create a 'Just For Me' space in your house that feels good to relax in. Indulge yourself with a nap - I prefer to call it 'Sacred Rest.' Gift yourself Jennifer Louden's, The Woman's Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide for Restoring Balance in Your Life and have fun! Begin to treat your body like a temple and it will be one. You'll like living there a whole lot more than a neighborhood tenement.

Feeding Your Mind

· Fill Your Mind with Good Stuff - become aware that you have choices every day of what to fill your mind with: positive thoughts, experiences and people or ones that drag you down into the negative bowels of mind. Choose to fill your mind daily with enlightening literature, stimulating conversation and meaningful activity. Spend time with uplifting folks and discern those who are too toxic for you to be around. Take a class; learn a new hobby or skill. Read, listen to music, visit a museum or gallery. Turn the TV off and curl up with James Allen's classic, As a Man Thinketh**, and discover that you really do have the power to choose your thoughts and create the life of your dreams.

· Flush Your Mind - take time each day to empty your mind of its busyness and the 70,000 thoughts a day which occupy it. If we continually fill our mind, with no time daily allotted for flushing, we are destined to live lives of stress and overwhelm. Give yourself a break from mental activity and bask in the quiet. Meditate (if you don't know how, I recommend the book and CD by Diana Lang called Opening to Meditation), reflect, journal, just sit quietly in a comfortable spot and do absolutely nothing. Just Be. Breathe.

Enriching Your Spirit

· Slow Down - in a world that is picking up pace as we speak, make the choice to get out of the fast lane and live life on your own terms. Constantly "doing" can cause us to feel disconnected from ourself and others. Take steps to eliminate any unnecessary activities in your day to find time to just Be. Drive slower. Walk instead of ride. Breathe while waiting in line. Speak this mantra as your day begins: "I want to live my life fully instead of my life living me," and take one step today to do just that.

· Connect with Nature - notice how much better you feel when you are out-of-doors. Isn't it amazing how a beautiful sunset, bird watching or breathing in fresh woodsy smells restores us? Allow the healing power of nature to work its magic. Spend at least five minutes each day with your face to the sunshine, your ear to Mother Nature's sweet refrains and allow yourself connection with the awe and majesty of Creation. Time spent in nature is truly restorative.

· Engage in Spiritual Practice - explore your relationship with the Divine. What does that concept mean to you? How do you connect with a Higher Power? Prayer, solitude, song, worship, study of spiritual literature, meditation, or sacred dance, engaged in regularly, can bring us into the heart of who we are. Ponder the reason you are here and what your purpose in life is. Spend time in retreat (alone or with a group) and feel your spiritual energy soar.

I believe wholeness is our birthright. We are not destined to live lives of fragmentation and stress. Peace and inner joy can be ours with a few tweaks and adjustments, renewing our commitment to our self daily, five minutes here, five minutes there, moving us toward total well-being. As the new year dawns, my hope is that you will embark on a deeper journey to knowing who you are and how you are living your life. Trust that greater balance can be yours. It's just a Baby Step away.

**There is a wonderful version of this book for women called As A Woman Thinketh by Dorothy Hulst.