A Conversation with Dr. Bernie Siegel, M.D.
Orginally published in Healing Garden Journal, May 2004

Bernie Siegel, M.D. may just be the world’s most beloved physician. Unorthodox early on in his career, he treated his patients differently, “seeing them as real people and not as their disease.” His down-to-earth approach to life, his wonderful sense of humor and keen intellect make him someone the medical profession should be proud of. Yet, over the years, he has had his share of criticism from the allopathic medical community. His approach is holistic, encouraging people to take an active role in their healing, to live fully to their highest potential. More than medicine, Bernie would say it is “Love that heals.”

In 1978 Exceptional Cancer Patients (ECaP) was founded by Bernie and today still stands as a non-profit organization which helps people face the challenges of cancer and other chronic illnesses, and to discover their inner healing resources. ECaP celebrates every person’s potential for rediscovering wholeness, balance and inner peace. Their programs are based upon the science of mind-body-spirit medicine. Despite his notoriety and 25 years of extensive world travel, Bernie still leads a weekly and monthly support group based on these principles in his home state of Connecticut. This commitment to be a healing presence to others is what endears Bernie Siegel to so many people.

Bernie has authored a number of books which have inspired people to approach their lives in new, soulful ways. Among them are the best-selling Love, Medicine and Miracles; Peace, Love and Healing; and Prescriptions for Living. His newest release, 365 Prescriptions for the Soul (New World Library) is a profound collection of wisdom from a man who has dedicated his life to helping others.

Retired from medical practice, Bernie lives happily in Connecticut, a dedicated husband, father of five, grandchildren to many more, and caretaker to numerous animals. He continues to write and speak internationally.

We are honored to present this interview with Bernie Siegel, M.D. May he inspire you as he did us!

To learn more about Bernie Siegel or his speaking schedule visit www.ecap.org.

We begin our interview with asking Bernie what he is passionate about these days—where his heart is...

Every morning I leave our house to go to our son’s house to take care of his pets. That is where I do my morning exercise, meditation and prayers. This morning, because of some things I’m reading and where I am in my life right now, I was reminded once again that it is all about love. I listen to the news and all we are hearing about is how we are killing each other. I was thinking that if you grow up with love, you don’t do terrible things. If you have loving parents (and it doesn’t matter whether you are a puppy, a kitten, a tiger or a human being), if your parents love you, it shows up in how you act toward others. Golda Maier said “When we love our children more than we hate our enemies, wars will cease.” I’ve always said that if you grow up with parents who loved you, teachers who didn’t make you feel like a failure, and clergy who didn’t say that God was punishing you (and you have a relationship with God), you’ll have a totally different life than someone who grew up with those three groups being a problem.

The key to life is simply love; if every child grew up with love, we wouldn’t have a damn thing to worry about. What we need to do is love. When is mankind going to become aware of how important it is to be loved?

It is obvious from his lifework and writings (particularly his newest book, 365 Prescriptions for the Soul) that Bernie is a man of great faith and deep spiritual connection. We asked him what he does each day to stay connected to his inner journey, as well as the Divine.

Part of my daily meditation/prayer goes through noting what I am grateful for. I work on that every day vs. focusing on how many problems I have. We all have weaknesses. I am constantly trying to be more loving with the people in my family and everyone else. I do pray for my own needs and the needs of others. I find that as I do this, I evolve.

I’ve asked thousands of people I’ve met over the years, this question: What can I pray for you? In all of the years I’ve been doing this, only two have answered, “World peace.” Everybody else is focused on themselves (I need a new house, I want to be happy, etc.) The first person who answered differently was my 95-year-old mother-in-law who is in a wheelchair with many challenges and needs of her own. “World peace,” she said. That just blew me away.

What do I want for all my loved ones? Spiritual things—peace of mind, blessings, happiness—versus material things. As we look at life this way, it helps us develop. I am always looking for greater insights within myself.

When listening to Bernie speak, one can’t help but feel the genuine, deep compassion he exudes for every person and for all of life. We asked him to share his feelings about the state of the world today.

I am in a sense a very sad person because of that. I used to question why (especially related to illness). If you could be God, why would you want to be God? To stop the war, people from being sick, etc.? To me, a perfect world is a magic trick, not a creation. We are here to live and learn. We are here to co-create with God. Mankind has enormous possibilities. We have the capability to make all our acts meaningful, but, at the same time, it is sad because we choose destructiveness instead.

We are all the same color inside. As a surgeon I say that literally. You open someone up and there is no difference. Everyone looks the same on the inside. So why do we kill each other over our differences? I know we are one family and that we need to come together and accept that fact. Then there is nothing to fight over, to kill over. There are no borders. There are no differences. We are family so we find ways to solve the problems. My hope is that someday mankind will achieve that.

We know our HGJ readers are dedicated to living more consciously, living in unity with one another as described here. But so many people struggle with this. We asked Bernie what advice he could offer someone who wants to improve their life, their disposition, relationships, and so on, but are having a hard time doing so.

I’d ask them, ‘Who is your lord?’ By lord I mean who do you love? Who do you hate? Who and what do you consider evil? This is all about the material lords we have chosen over the years. It is even about words. When you look at the state of the world today we are killing each other over words. I recently saw “The Passion of the Christ.” Through it, we see that the four gospels in the Bible (the accounts of Jesus’ life) differ, each one telling the same story in a different way. When the words become all important, when the words become a god, then you have a different lord. You wind up with more destructive behavior than gifts.

How about this parable for today? Think of yourself as a satellite dish with many options, with many channels. Your mind is your remote control. So pick out the right voice, the right channels, and like the TV screen, demonstrate with your body (with your actions), what you are choosing. Some of us demonstrate murder because that is what we hear. Others demonstrate love. If we’d all tune into our ‘true lord’ we would become creative, not destructive.

When you hear a ‘wise elder’ like Bernie speak, one can’t help but wonder what his upbringing was and how he arrived at the place he is now. Obviously, he is not your average physician. We invited him to share a bit about his childhood and background.

Well, you are very right in noticing that I am different in that way. Often I’ve been asked by the medical community, “What the hell are you doing?”

As a kid I was an artist, a very visual person. I loved painting. I didn’t know then that you could make a living doing art. I knew I had good hands, I loved science, was a bright kid, liked fixing things, and I liked people. I thought a way to combine those things would be to become a surgeon, a doctor. The problem was I learned early on, you can’t fix every problem. You can’t make all these people better and the pain was overwhelming for me. I was close to my patients. I knew them as people, not as a disease. I had the courage to deal with my pain and go to a workshop to address this in myself. Guess who was there? My patients! Suddenly, I’m sitting with these people in a different relationship as someone also looking for healing and clarity. One of my patients spoke up and said to me, “I feel better when I am in the office with you. And I can’t take you home with me, so I have to know how to live between office visits.” That profoundly changed me and my life. Instead of keeping people from dying, I began to help them to live. What you learn is that if you help people to live, they don’t die when they are supposed to.

I grew up with loving parents. I did well in school, got along with God. Didn’t grow up with guilt. My mom always encouraged us to look at our feelings and not what was in our heads. She would ask, “If you have a decision to make, what will make you happy?” She also taught us that if something goes wrong, something good will come from it. God is redirecting you. It may not feel great in the moment, but something better is coming from it.

My father’s parents died young and he had enormous financial problems trying to survive. Money, for him, was something you gave away to help other people. When you are brought up that way, you look at life differently than the majority of the world.

In speaking with Bernie, we also hear of his deep connection with nature. His other new book, Smudge Bunny (an illustrated children’s book), demonstrates his love of animals. He shares that, at one time, their family of seven may have had as many as 100 pets in their household. He and his wife Barbara are renown for rescuing animals.

Nature has all the answers. I learn so much each day from nature and the animals. Nature and animals are complete. Man is not. Hemingway said that people become strong at the broken places. Why do we have to be strong at the broken places? Why can’t we educate you so you can become strong enough not to break or supple enough to bend? Take a tree, for example. It gets through the winter. It might lose a few branches here or there; rarely does a whole tree break apart. It learns how to handle these things. People need to learn what nature knows—how to handle adversity. As a surgeon, I believe our bodies are here to withstand changes; our heart rate, our breathing, our temperature can vary. We are made to vary. Be ready for change. Be ready for difficulty. If we could educate ourselves from an early age in this way, we would handle life so much differently.

On Monday mornings, heart attacks and suicides are at their peak. Cats and dogs don’t have a problem on Monday. We need to get creative and not see our lives as “I’m working.” Instead see them as authentic and creative. You will live a longer healthier life if you can do so.

We asked Bernie to share some final thoughts...

Love thy enemies, kill them with kindness. Our enemies do not know how to handle love.

You know the opposite of love is indifference and if we don’t show indifference, but instead, care, we can reparent people and literally change the world. I believe that.

About once a year, I find myself rereading “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. It goes like this:

“He prayeth best, who loveth best  
 All things both great and small;  
 For the dear God who loveth us,  
 He made and loveth all.”

That’s what it’s all about to me. That is where our hope lies. With love. Just love it all!

Oh, yes, and when in doubt how to act in a certain situation, ask yourself, “What would Lassie do?”